Only dreaming (Listen to If the Rain Must Fall- James Morrison)

Hello lover, please be all of these things and I'm all yours!<3 *Love the outdoors and hiking. *Gives himself unconditionally in every way. *Make at least as much income as I do. *Positive about life. *Want me to be myself and love me for it. *Understand my dry sense of humor. *Respect me and my decisions. *Love cuddling, cause I do!;) *Can cook a decent meal. *Clean up after yourself. *Like surprising me and make me feel special. *Tells me everything, even the boring shiz. *Same interests and hobbies as me. *Trustworthy and loyal. *Releases bad energy in a positive way. *Never assumes we wont work out. *Builds himself up (Good Self-esteem) *Loves spending time with me but isn't too clingy. *Lives a secure lifestyle. *Interacts well with my family and likes being around them. *Likes to be healthy. *His family is welcoming and I fit in well. *Respects that I don't like PDA (unless its an old couple cuddling<3) *I like curly, dark-haired guys... But that's not a must. *I'd like him to be taller and larger than me... But ya know; Love is love.

Create my Love (Listen to the Dispicable Me song-hehe.....)

PEANUT BUTTER AND NUTELLA BANANA, BABY.<3 I don't know if it's the sweetness or the knife, but this is my love life. Take a banana, and at the end where the banana is shortest (bottom), you Pinch it and then you tear the peel off of the banana, exposing the ovary Completely. Throw the peel away and lay the banana on the counter. Get a Pairing knife and cut the banana length wise down the middle so you have two Equal halves. lay the slimy side facing up and get a jar of peanut butter (creamy or crunchy-which ever you prefer.)and unscrew the lids off. Set the Lids on the counter and take your butter knife and get some peanut butter on The end of your knife, then spread it on one half of the banana, on the slimy Side. Wipe off your peanut butter from the knife, just in case someone is allergic To peanut butter and likes nutella. Then put the butter knife into the nutella jar and get some nutella on the end of your knife and then spread the nutella on The half of your banana that doesn't have the peanut butter on the slimy side. Clean your knife off and put it in the dish washer. Go back to your banana Slices and place the peanut butter and nutella onto each other, including your Banana halves. Put the lids back onto your peanut butter and nutella, then put the Two jars back into your pantry. Pick your banana sandwich up and eat as you please. ITS DELICIOUS. You're welcome:)

Hate this

Going on a date:

Avoid hate and your "special friend".

Select your date:

Look at the menu the day before.

Tell Me

What's it like to be obese? 

Growing up with huge family results 

In me never pushing more than 140. 

Even that's huge. 

. What's it like to smoke a joint and shoot up my veins? I'll never know thanks to my dad. Really, thank you. What happened to promises? They never happen. What happened to support and unconditional love with no judgement? Because I don't believe in death and I don't like hate. What about becoming a paramedic? Because I cry when I think about a small child's life. I think I love the beach but the mountains give me God. What does it feel like to be without food? To be stolen from? To read a letter from a soldier? What's it like to hear my lovers voice and my child's heartbeat? I know the answers, but I want to understand.

I forgot

I forgot why I like you...

I forgot people around me don't know the truth and it's not their fault.

I forgot I used to do the worm. Embarrassing.

I forgot my money is for gas and food. Not a new wardrobe.

I forgot breaking bad isn't really over yet.

I forget I'm trying to be different. 

I forgot I love going to movies. I forgot you're the one who took me. 

I forgot that I hate the cold... It's cold.

I forgot I have a dad that moved on to drugs and away from me. I forgot my late grandma might be sad about that, too.

I forget my only friend is manipulative and I can't even talk to her. 

I forgot what turned me so emotional. 

Sincerely, 

-I hate lists. 

What happened to Lost and Found?

I've been waiting, and forcing everything I have, and holding on to the only thing left.. I keep wondering, and thinking... you: You're lost, aren't you? I think about you like grass thinks about the other side. Like relationships think about forever. Like  fathers' knees' think about supporting his family. Like  4 year olds think about themselves. Like haunted houses think about putting you in its coffin. Like boys think about sex and getting the next... Hottest. I think about you like straighteners think about the smell of crisp hair and burnt flesh. And I'm thinking about you like mountains think about land slides and like rain thinks about drowning children. I think about you like the earth thinks about it's own core and how one day, a little quake, and we'll all see it. I think about you... I think about you so much that I know the feeling of apnea and cardiac arrest. I think about you like the elderly think of heaven and god. I think we all think about death. I think about you... Like dreams think about making you think you're flying.. I think about every damn thing I can that reminds me of you. That bedtime story you wrote for me... I keep reading it and thinking about why I'm crying and why you're hiding. I think about you like schools think about championships. Like stories think about pleasing their writers. I think about you like the dead think about dancing in the sky and the living think about signing up for that choir.  I'm thinking about you like demons think about unzipping our skin and wearing it. Like tongues think about playing games with our teeth: how it's a miracle they never get bit. I'm thinking about you like Dragons think about protecting princesses... Ya. That was me. I think you're lost, and I'm going to find you. Because I can't get you off my mind, and maybe I don't want to. Until I find you, RIP <3

Cigars and wine

You made me love you...

 

I hate how you kiss me and hold me.

The way you make me feel stupid.

I hate how I tried and you played, but this game isn't for fun.

I hate the sun. I can see you and hear your deep scary voice. No more love jokes and apple slices.

New Years was way too cold to try that little trick.

The world whore you kissed.

Call me Colby and I'll hate you more.

That's not my name you f*cking dick.

My beating soul only feels my cardiac heart. 

My soft face. Moisture of tears. 

I think it's time I tell you why. 

3. 400 if your own. 40 to me. 0 of my own 500 to you.

2. Empty belly and screaming lungs. You just laugh and have some fun.

1. One word, that you didn't mean. 

That lie you threw around. Like I'm just a rag doll. 

Give me your world; I can shut it down.

And now I only loathe you.