I don't even know my last name

When you ask who I am, I stutter. 

I wonder. I choke up. My chest

Tightens.

I hate him. I despise the person

I'm supposed to be. Why would

I ever want your name? 

You're just a gun, looks, you know. The

Type that will point. "Don't leave or I'll kill"

Kill who? I'm already dead. 
My mother? Don't you dare touch her. 

There's someone else here now. 

One who shows me love. Supports me.

Its not real, but its better than you. 

All along its never been her. It's you. Always you.

You ruin the meaning of father.

I kind of have one. But not the 

Kind who wrestles with you. Or takes you places. 
Its not real, but its better than 

You.

He loves me. But he doesn't know me. 

You don't know me though. I 

Don't care about anything. But

I will make you pay. Your last name is

Invisible to me. I don't have it.

Next time they ask, I'll let them know.

My first name. Not my last.