Tight Chest Throbbing Heart

I'm gasping for air as I feel my lungs start to constrict themselves. Blood flows purple. Heart blackening. Chest collapsing. Ribs cracking. Eyes blurring. Distant sounds pounding in my head. Whiskey on my lips turn to a deep nightmare but I still find myself awake. My heart is still beating. My stomach still bulged. My last thoughts to live. No midnight call. No 3 hours on the phone. Your voice has run from my head to my toes, swollen with fear. It's two after midnight and there's voices by my bed. I can't keep my eyes shut because once they open I know I'll see what's been staring, breathing, grinning through my soul. I've been sleeping and dreaming this nightmare up. I feel the hairs on my neck get up to crawl away. Down my shirt. Up the blanket which I left untucked for my face. I didn't want to suffocate completely. It gets hot and sweaty under this thick fabric. My comforter protects the poisonous bites of the red diamond of its black carcass. A stroll down the street, a laugh and my feet, moving step by step. A rustle of bushes and pause from memory. Pounce attack. Blood dripping, fresh slices. A friendly meow to a defensive hiss and you're literally scarred for life. 4 years young and scars on your face. Tails pulled to broken neck then coming death. Speaking up. Meeting someone new. Telling you what I want to be when I grow up and why. Palms sweating, head dripping. Face red quivering lip. I bite and everything spins. I can't comprehend what I'm supposed to tell you. Intimidate. Disappoint. Losing mom. Fighting disease. Anything paranormal. The thought of where I've been before and where I'm going after. What it's going to be like next time. How badly my chest aches. The way I literally feel my heart tightening but it's no harder to breathe. Learning about my career and starting a family. Fighting with my husband. Sending him to work not knowing what women he may see. Or if he does. Being lied to. In the end; I'm only afraid of what's not meant.